When you lose someone, it doesn’t matter who broke up with who. At the end of the day, they’re gone and it’s going to fucking hurt in ways you have never felt before. It doesn’t matter if you’ve dealt with heartbreak before. Hell, it doesn’t matter if you imagined a future with them only for that future to be taken away from you in a fraction of a moment.
They’re still gone and it hurts to breathe.
They were your oxygen and now it’s like you’re drowning underwater with no idea how to survive. That’s exactly what heartbreak feels like. They call it heartbreak but you can feel the pain throughout your entire body. You can barely eat. You can barely sleep. You can’t even watch movies because whenever you would, it just makes you miss him more. It’s like he’s everywhere and nowhere, all at once. You watch your favorite TV show and you laugh because of something funny and you immediately think that he would have loved that. You pass by that coffee shop where you had your first kiss and you feel a hint of a sad smile play by your lips, because the memory feels so fresh. You pass by the arcade that you went to once during a spontaneous coffee date and you laugh at the irony because you never actually thought that it was going to be the last. You go to bed every night, the same bed where you once fell asleep on his chest with his arms wrapped around you, and knowing that that was the moment you knew he was your home.
It’s going to hurt like a bitch and you have to constantly keep yourself busy just so missing him won’t consume you, not anymore. You have to let yourself keep moving forward with your life and stop torturing yourself with the never-ending whatifs. It shouldn’t even matter if he was the one who ended it or if you did. You should already know by now that if that person was the right one for you, they should have stayed and they should have fought for you to stay, if you were the one that walked away. No matter what fights or disagreements you both had in the span of your relationship, no argument is worth breaking up over. And if he left you because he got fed up of all the fights, or because he needs to ‘fix himself’ or whatever lame shit excuse he has to say, then he was never the right person for you. I hope you know that.
The right person won’t ever leave you, no matter how dark everything gets. The right person will make you see that staying is the only option there is, and nothing else. Because the truth of the matter is, no love is ever easy. Love is always going to drive you to the brim of your core until it rips you to pieces, but you find who you really are in love as well. Love drives you mad but the right kind of love also makes you feel safe and loved.
Published by: Thought Catalog
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